The Emperor’s New Book Coach: A Tale of Unseen Failure

I bet you’ve eyed a ‘book guru’s’ shiny author ad, thinking, “Hell yeah! Maybe it’s my time to shine!” but hold up.

You’re about to wade into waters infested with the kind of ‘gurus’ who think Googling “Mount Everest” qualifies them to guide you up the actual mountain. These self-appointed book coaches, with their top achievement being mastering the art of uploading a PDF to Amazon and (hopefully!) picking the least offensive Canva template, are suddenly, they’re the self-proclaimed High Priest or Priestess of Publishing, ready to lead you to the promised land of bestsellers.

You’ve seen the mirage. A beautifully crafted illusion set in a utopian writers’ retreat that skips the gritty reality of what it really takes to write, edit and sell a book that resonates with an audience beyond your immediate family.

These gurus strut their stuff, their non-achievements puffed up like a Thanksgiving Day parade balloon. But let’s not be fooled. Their sales record? Dryer than a prohibition-era bar. Success stories? As rare as an honest politician. And after their ‘transformative’ workshop, their clients’ books often see about as much action as a treadmill in January—initial enthusiasm, followed by an eternity of gathering dust.

Investing in these schemes is like sinking your dough into a timeshare from the ‘80s—sure, the brochure looked nice, but you wouldn’t want to spend a minute there once you see it up close. Meanwhile, your wallet’s on a diet, and your credibility has taken a hit.

Stepping into the publishing arena without a seasoned guide is like navigating a minefield with a Disneyworld cartoon map. Your ally in this journey should be someone who’s not just walked the path but left markers for others to follow. They have written and sold books for themselves and for others. This isn’t about hitching your wagon to a fading shooting star but about aligning with a lighthouse whose steady beam has guided many ships safely to shore year after year.

Let the popup publishers drift off back to crypto, or wizzy AI tools or whatever is flavour of the month with the perpetual pivoters. Real expertise in this publishing game is measured by the success of your book strategies, not the eloquence of your sales pitch.

It comes from publishing decent books, with good ratings, strong sales, a solid back catalogue, and a track record of getting results throughout the planning, publishing, and promotion phases for themselves and for others. Seek out a book mentor whose works have not just been published but celebrated, whose advice is not just theoretical but battle-tested. Ask to see their royalty figures. Look for sales, readthrough from book to book, Kindle page reads. Ask to see their ad spend accounts if they are helping with paid promotion.

A real book coach will have these figures. If they are worth their salt, they will share them. You can only progress quickly and easily by drawing from a well of experience deepened by actual sales, glowing reviews, and a track record of transforming aspiring writers into respected authors.

In the universe of nonfiction publishing, where facts reign supreme, let your guide be someone adorned not in the emperor’s new clothes, but in the armour of proven creative and sales success. Because, at the end of the day, the only story worth telling is one of genuine achievement, not fabricated glory. Choose your book coach wisely—your legacy depends on it.

If you need IMPARTIAL FREE nonfiction advice, check out my online benchmarks. They tell you straight.

Begin your book with confidence: How Market-Ready is Your Book Idea?

Publish your book with confidence: Is Your Final Draft Publishing Ready?

Revive your book with confidence: Take Your Book From Hidden Gem to Headliner!

Tell your friends about these.

PS And remember, ask whoever you pick for proof of success before you part with any cash, else run away.

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